The Great Ocean Road Men’s Retreat

There’s likely to be only a few moments in your life that you realise you are doing what you want to be doing. A potent mix of nervousness and excitement leads you to be entirely in the present moment and you feel joyful that everything is just the way it is.This is how I felt on the much anticipated weekend retreat that I led along with my fellow men, Mark Kluwer and Kane Johnson.Truth be told this project had been in full swing since April - but on a much grander scale. We were sincerely considering buying 200 acres of World Heritage land in Northern New South Wales to build our retreat facility. Mark was a builder, and we had some life savings – what could go wrong?At what seemed to be the very last minute, we had hesitation and decided we should try run a few retreats beforehand. Thankfully, we listened to the anxiety in our guts and agreed to take baby steps together. Almost every week after that, we carefully and excitedly crafted what would be our first retreat, held at the historic Seacroft retreat centre on The Great Ocean Road: A characteristic old monastery, surrounded by the wild ocean of the Bass Strait. 25 men, 1 weekend. This is our story.Once we all arrived and settled into our rooms, at 6:00 pm we gathered into the tastefully restored chapel for a meet and greet. Kane made the introductions to the group and highlighted the purpose for this weekend. He articulated our intentions perfectly, and I was so grateful to be sitting beside him as a friend and a teammate on this journey.A little about Kane: After retiring from a 15 year AFL career, which included two premiership wins with Adelaide and captaincy at Richmond, he embarked on an exploration to find a balance between the physical, mental and spiritual, leading him to travel to China to spend time with Shaolin Monks. While there he found his new passion: studying and practising the ancient self-healing practice of Qigong. It’s clear that Kane is now inspired to create a space for others to develop themselves on a physical, personal and spiritual level.We passed the footy around and each of us articulated who we are and what we were seeking by attending the retreat – it was an honour to witness so many blokes immediately open up from the heart. There were some nerves, as most of us (including Mark, Kane & I) didn’t know what to expect for the weekend. But we felt an immediate sense of trust and a lot of excitement about what was in store for the next couple days.

Some of us were seeking profound personal transformation, some wanted to test themselves, and others just wanted a weekend away from the busy churn of emails and phone calls.

As for me – I wanted to fulfil a dream I’d had for over five years: To create a profound weekend for a group of human beings to reconnect with themselves, with others and with nature.Kane, with his deep understanding and complete presence, led the team through some Qi Gong to help us and settle into the area. With some light movement flowing with the breath and the energy in the room began to thicken.Already we felt a connection to one another. Whatever happens this weekend, we are brothers. We stood there, breathing; some stillness and calm before the proverbial storm of tomorrow.The boys were hungry, and it was dinner time, so Henry - our star chef from the Fitzroy famous restaurant, Industry Beans - delivered with incredibly healthy and delicious food, not just for this meal but the entire weekend. A few of the stand-outs were slow cooked beef and Korean kimchi lettuce cups for dinner; pulled lamb with slaw and quinoa for lunch; eggs with field mushrooms and sautéed spinach on paleo toast for breakfast; all meals were gluten-free with vegan options and Man Alive approved. Bellies were full, and smiles were broad.We then celebrated our first meal together by walking down to the beach for a twilight swim. The tide was out and the clouds were putting on a show. There was intense excitement as we all felt like this was already a spectacular weekend to be. Some tribal circle war cries and a few fist bumps ensued before walking back home for the next activity.Before sending the men off to a restful sleep, we recollected into the chapel for a session of Yoga Nidra. I sat there in a candlelit hall, with soft music playing as the men walked in and laid down on their mats. I had an enormous grin on my face and was so appreciative of this moment.Some collective breathing and bringing the attention to specific points of the body encouraged the frequency of brain waves to drift from beta to theta. Calmness entered the room and then the Swedish masseuse, Lars, began to snore. Mark giggled. Then the whole room erupted in laughter - full belly howling laughter – for several minutes. We settled back down and then some more snoring and laughing and then sleeping. It was time for bed.The next morning we woke up to some Hatha yoga with breath (pranayama), posture (asana), sound (mantra), and meditation (dhyana). It was my first time teaching only men, many of whom had never done any form of yoga before. Everyone seemed to enjoy the effects of breathing and moving the body as a group, especially first thing in the morning. After 90 minutes of yoga, my body feels open and free while my mind feels more centred, calm and happier. It was a great way to start the day, before breakfast and a morning swim in the ocean.Anticipation grew for the late-morning activity when Mark took over. Mark attended a Wim Hof retreat in 2016, which changed the trajectory of his life. Wim’s motto of Strength, Health and Happiness lit a fire in Mark, and now he is on a mission to do the same for others. Since then, Mark has become a certified Master Wim Hof Method Instructor and has been dedicated to helping people from all walks of life experience the innate power they hold within them.

It was now time to go deep together with a full hour of The Wim Hof Method, led by one of the most passionate people on the planet.

After a brief introduction to the method and the man behind it, the boys laid down and made themselves comfortable to go within. The music started playing.Four rounds of 50 breaths deep and the energy in the room was palpable. Kane and I were there to help the men if needed but found ourselves becoming quite emotional. Even without doing the breathwork – by just being in the room with others who were - we too were ‘getting high on our own supply’. Mark did an incredible job at creating a safe space and ensuring correct breathing technique, so no one was at risk.On the sixth and final round, and 55 minutes later of controlled hyperventilation, the boys took a deep inhale and rolled over to perform as many pushups as possible to generate heat through the body and witness how much oxygen had been packed into every cell of the body.

A big exhale, and the room fell still… The music softly played, and for many minutes, we lay there – just feeling.

Bringing that moment to mind now makes me emotional as I remember how powerful it felt to be there. It was indeed humbling, and words really cannot describe it.After an inspiring and motivational speech from Mark, it was time to test ourselves and jump in the ice. Two hundred, 5-kilogram bags of ice sat outside and needed to be put into an eight-man pool.It was a cold day, and the wind blew from the Antarctic, which didn’t help the confidence, but the men were ready and eager to see what they were made of. The majority of blokes had never experienced a one-degree ice bath before, and so after some instruction, the first group jumped in. It was a huge success with everyone sitting in cold water for at least 2 minutes, most reached the 5-minute mark.

The mind is the weakest link while immersed in near-zero waters.

Once you start to let the cold creep in, you’re done. To allow yourself shiver in the first few minutes is a choice and a dangerous one at that. If you wish to take on the ice, make sure you have someone trained in guiding people through it. Permanent nerve damage, hypothermia and drowning are real threats so please don’t do it by yourself. Mark is now offering private sessions in Melbourne if you’re keen to experience it for the first time, or are merely wanting to go deeper than you could by yourself.After lunch, we gave the boys free time to rest and reflect on the experience of the morning. Some journaled and read, others chatted and drank tea together deepening the relationships that were naturally unfolding.At 5:00 we ventured down to the beach for a movement practice. It had been raining heavily but sporadically for most of the afternoon, but we decided to chance it and embrace whatever came. With lightning sparking out over the ocean we walked along the sand to get moving despite Nick’s concern that “the beach is the worst place to be in a thunderstorm.”First a little bit of lower body mobility training to remove the fear of getting sandy. We partnered up and played a few games before Kane and Mark brought a 20-metre long rope for a championship round of Tug o’ War with Kane’s team taking out the title. Better luck next time, Mark. We then played some Ido Portal inspired contact improvisation to develop a better sense of communication through movement and understanding of one another and our limitations of movement. This was a favourite for many of us as we freely moved in the rain and sand along a vast expanse of beach with no one else around and a free light show over the ocean. To finish with meditation, I invited the men to stand ankle deep in the water to gaze out over the ocean, completely still, just observing nature in its rawness.As we wandered back to Seacroft, I received a few comments about how incredible the last few days were. I agreed with them that it had already been an epic experience for me too then reminded them that it had only been 23 hours since we arrived. I believe that time began to slow down as we formed meaningful connections with complete strangers, learned to breathe, meditate and move our bodies and of course, disconnected from our mobile devices to reconnect with nature. All these things together allow us to be much more present, which makes it feel like time is stretched out. I wondered how we could bring this state of being back home when we departed.That night we huddled away from the rain in the chapel to participate in one of our now famous Man Night’s. We split off into three groups to connect on a slightly more in-depth level by going around the circle and simply answering the question “What’s going on for you at the moment?”. It’s a beautiful thing that happens when a group of men trust and listen to each other for a few hours.After doing this for over a year, I’ve found that I receive the most clarity and benefit from listening to other people’s stories, rather than sharing my own. One of the men on the retreat was a good friend, Josh Komen, who has an incredible story of battling cancer and graft vs host disease for the last seven years. Josh is currently writing a book about his journey, and I encourage everyone to check it out when it is released.

Ultimately when you hear Josh speak, you remember that your health and your loved ones are all that matter. It strips away the competitor bullshit that so easily creeps into our lives, and you’re left with what makes you happy.

It was great hearing everyone’s story - their wins, their struggles, their dreams and their past. We find these conversations to be so enriching and so we allowed some time for everyone to write down some insights and reflections from the group conversation into their journal. We concluded the evening with a meditation, before walking off for a sound night’s sleep.We began the next morning with another exploration into hatha yoga, this time picking up the tempo and going a little bit deeper into the body and the breath. I wanted to encourage the opening of the body and the lungs, preparing them for the next breath work session with Mark.It was the first time we’ve ever moved from 90 minutes of yoga straight into an intense session of The Wim Hof Method - but we’re all about exploring the boundaries and what was the worst that could happen anyway?This time, Mark laid the mats beside each other to encourage a bond between us all. It was his most intense session ever. Afterwards, he invited all of us to hold hands while we were lying down to feel the connection between one other. We continued to breathe while visualising who we could become as our strongest, most authentic self. We then all stood up and it was time for a group huddle with all the men, arm in arm, entirely focused on Marks heart-felt words. Looking each and every one of us straight in the eyes, his central message was to feel love for self, others and the world around us. With raw emotion, the whole group started jumping and repeatedly roaring the word 'Love'.With hearts open and smiles from ear, to ear, we ate our last meal together. Spirits were high as we shared our experiences of the weekend and what life was going to be like once we left. We felt empowered to take on any challenge that lay before us back home.

We felt excited and supported to venture back out into our own lives and have the impact that all of us desire to have in the world around us.

As a group, we sat together one last time in the chapel to reflect as a group. The closing circle was ceremonial and at the same time a celebration. In one weekend all of us felt reborn into a stronger, more fully alive self. We passed the footy around and shared our most memorable moments of the weekend and what we wanted to take back home with us. Some of us wanted to continue the breathing practice, some wanted to start moving more, and others felt a greater appreciation for their family – to return home to be a more loving father and husband.It was amazing to me that so much change could happen in less than 48 hours. It’s a testament to the energy of the people there as well as the profound effectiveness of the techniques and practices that we explored.Mark, Kane and I were truly blown away by the willingness and openness of all the men who joined us for such a life-changing weekend. A brotherhood had formed, which I believe is so essential for the physical, spiritual and mental health of all men in this generation. This type of connection is in desperate need among so many of us, myself included. These connections contribute so much to what gives our life purpose and meaning. They support and encourage us to be our best selves in all of life’s situations.This weekend was indeed a dream come true for me. After many thoughtful conversations with Mark and Kane, it’s clear that it was for them too. We are currently working on our next venture together, and after much discussion about what was great and what could be improved, we are excited to announce we will be delivering an unforgettable retreat experience in June 2018. Who's in?